Need a Self-Esteem Boost? Take a freshman-level History Class!!

Despite a desperate attempt to bypass American History 152, I was coerced into taking it this semester by that ever-tempting reward of removing the word "school" from the end of my sentences beginning with, "No I can't _____ because I have to go to..." Although I began the class with a particularly snobbish attitude towards the material, I soon became accustomed to the constant gratification of remembering things have learned without really trying to recall them. It's like that feeling you get when you suddenly and unconsciously blurt out the correct answer for the final question on Jeopardy, but for an entire block of fifty minutes! I encourage anyone feeling a little down to test this pick me up. It works.

Jaelbait

Wednesday means America’s Next Top Model. If you missed it and plan to watch the rerun Sunday night, do not read further.

While Twiggy talked to the girls about changing their name, I thought to myself What would my name be? If I kept my name like Jael and Jaslene did, my name would be Ann. Boring. Maybe Chann. What would the four sides of me be?

I really like Jaslene; she has a crazy body that both scares and impresses me. Every time she undresses and we see her white cotton undies I'm like What? I really dislike Jael for so many reasons. The voice (obviously). The clothes (the short plaid skirt, the tan one-piece gaucho pant situation). If she were hot, we could call her Jaelbait, but she’s not. She has terrible skin. Makeup doesn’t work. And then the party and the crazy dancing? Back at the house, she's often half naked. If you want to see her naked, well, you can. She wants to be a Suicide Girl so bad.

It’s Not You

Please read last week's article in the Times, It's Not You, It's Your Apartment. Here are some more titles to think about.

1. It's Not You, It's Your Alma Mater

2. It's Not You, It's Your Borough

3. It's Not You, It's Your Cameltoe

4. It's Not You, It's Your Emoticons

5. It's Not You, It's Your Friends

6. It's Not You, It's Your iPod Mini

7. It's Not You, It's Your Live-in-Girlfriend

8. It's Not You, It's Your Neighborhood

9. It's Not You, It's Your Pepper Mill

10. It's Not You, It's Your Shoes

Music, movies and stuff

Blonde Redhead’s new album 23 is out April 10. Pre-order it on iTunes and get the bonus track Signs on the Path. I guess, Lo, in between walking their dog in Tompkins Square Park and buying sushi at Dean & Deluca they were makin a new album.

I recommend seeing Bong Joon-ho’s The Host. I’ve wanted to see it since the January cover of Artforum. It’s playing at Sunshine, which means it will probably play there until summer. According to Gawker Stalker, Lou Reed didn’t like the movie (“what the fuck was that?”). My only complaint about it was the last scene—I won’t ruin the ending—with its Street Fighter fireballs-esque not-so-special effects. I could probably make better fire with Prismacolors. My coworker, who is Korean, recommends Bong Joon-ho’s earlier film, Memories of Murder. Apparently it is scarier, less funny. Netflix has it. When I finish all four seasons of Felicity I will add it to my queue.

Lauren Ambrose is in a new movie, Diggers—and, like, five other ones, four of which are in post-production. Diggers is another coming-of-age movie about guy friends growing up in Long Island as clam diggers.

In other news, Annie’s Naturals Lemon & Chive Dressing is gross. Continental Airlines’ lemon dressing is more delicious.

Monday Top Five

Gold Lion (Diplo Remix), Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Irreplaceable, Beyoncé

Muscle'n Flo, Menomena

Rally, Phoenix

City, Lo Fi Fnk

An Excuse for my Absence

After spending time away from the blog, as i had felt that I had developed too many identities at the time to further develop this one, I tried to come back. To my dismay, my standard user name and password were not the ones i had chosen as the gateway for my contributions here. Luckily, Cho possessed the power to terminate my existence and bring me back Lazarus style so that I may continue my mission. In short, CHOLO is back!!!!!

Emily Mail

Now we know there is at least one person who has read this blog. Here is a message from Emily on Facebook.

Hey, it's Emily. Oh, you probably knew that. I read your blog about your leg thing. I have the same thing every once in a while, and I could agree with the scrunching of the toes being a culprit. When I have to make long drives at night, I usually have the problem. Or if I'm stressed or have to stand up for a long time a few hours before bed.

My solution is something cold. Get one of those packs (sometimes they make good aromatherapy ones) that can either be heated in the microwave or frozen, depending on your symptoms. Or I suppose a bag of frozen peas in a ziploc bag might help, too? Anyway, put that on your leg. I read that coolness relaxes the "itch." I tried it, and it works. Good luck.

I haven't tried this but. I'll probably use frozen corn, because I like corn, in my Campbell's clam chowder. Good luck to you, with your restless leg.

How can they (American Idol) make the losers sing, or "perform one last time for their fans"? Huh? Whatever. I'm just waiting for 8:30 so I can watch The Office and then the last episode of The OC. Sort of.

Friday night was birthday night. We had dinner at Freemans, where I love my Dark and Stormies. There were presents—a receipt for the pre-ordered Harry Potter (and the Deathly Hallows), a gleaming Rabbit corkscrew, and a lot of stationery. There was a celebrity sighting—confirmed by Lo—of some dude from Gilmore Girls. If you like the birthday song, do not go to Freemans. No one at the restaurant joined in. Which was fine. I mean, I don't really give a shit about your birthday, either.

After Freemans we went across the street to the downstairs of Loreley. No DJ Friday night but the folks at Loreley will hook up your iPod with their speakers. Of course I didn't bring mine, but I did get to hear a little bit of Basement Jaxx from Mr. Leahy's iPod. Yes, Mr. Leahy, all the way from Princeton! Mrs Chou Chaffin provided the cake for the night, which, in the dim light of the lounge, I did not recognize as a RED VELVET CAKE WITH SEAFOAM GREEN FROSTING. And so, following last year's red velvet cake with seafoam green frosting provided by Mr. Schumann, a tradition has begun.

Twenty-two years over, and I look okay in flash photos. I guess I can't complain.

Restless leg?

What is restless leg syndrome? I don't want to Google it because I don't want to find out that it's not what I've got. Because I'm worried I've got something that no one else has. Haha, I know. But seriously. Today on my flight home I reclined my seat farther back than ever before. And with the little white pillow in its papery sham and some kitty yin yang hoodie padding, I was pretty comfy except for this problem I will call restless leg? for now. I explained this thing to Mr. Meinrath while in San Francisco, and there is a chance he used to have the same problem. Apparently he used to scrunch his toes a lot, which is one symptom of my restess leg?. It feels like a deep itch. You know about an itch under your jeans. Well, imagine an itch deep under your skin! Today it was my left foot, or maybe it is always my left foot. Since I can't drug my feet, I have to do something about it. So I scratch my left foot with my right foot and scrunch my toes and kick around and slip my feet out of my shoes, slip my feet back in my shoes, nothing helps. And trying not to think about it brings it back. Even now, I'm thinking about it and that feeling is creeping back. It's the worst.

I blog because I am jet-lagged. It is 9:09 AM in San Francisco. I am visiting college friends Mr. Holdahl and Mr. Meinrath at their Purple Palace. Miss Pritchett and Mr. Schumann have flewn up from LA to join us.

Friday night. A glass of Cabernet in Twin Peaks. Dinner at Foreign Cinema (2534 Mission St at 22nd Street) in the Mission. Beef tartare. Lamb mixer. Lavender crème brûlée. $80. $2 PBRs at dive bar 500 Club (500 Guerrero St at 17th St). Saturday. Hot pressed sandwiches and pastries from Tartine (600 Guerrero St at 18th St) in the Dolores Park. Barbecue at the Purple Palace. Beef, beef, and beef.

I recently thought who am I kidding I love meat. Before flights I worry I will get hungry so before takeoff I devoured an A&W cheeseburger. Wish I'd gotten fries or their cheese curds, but. A while later. "Chou?" And a flight attendant hands me my "STRICT VEGETARIAN" meal. I must have signed up for it on Continental.com at some point. So I eat a veggie burger of light brown and peas and a vegan cookie. Because I'm a strict vegetarian.

Sunday. Mr. Holdahl is watching a trailer of a documentary about Helvetica and making those little noises he makes. They sound something like, "MM."

I'm a chipster.

Read about blipsters.